HE Brews

As I sit here and enjoy a rather large cup of coffee I am being reminded of how God orders our steps.

Proverbs 19:21 says "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.

Some may have heard the joke about how it says in the Bible men should make the coffee because He-brews. Coffee percolates. And so does the destiny and purpose God has planted in each and every one of us. So literally, HE (God) brews in us different strengths and abilities unique to only us.

It doesn't take much to realize you are not like anyone else on the planet..even if you have an identical twin. The process to getting a cup of coffee doesn't start with the grounds in the coffee pot and adding hot water to release it's essence. You start with a plant. The beans are harvested and roasted. The roasting process itself has to be very precise or you can ruin the whole batch. Similarly, we go through trials and rough spots in life where it would seem we are being roasted.
We get ground up and pulverized (some of us know this feeling more than others). In the whole process from plant to cup of coffee, the bean did not do it all on its own. There were relationships with machines and different environments that all had a part in the process just like we, throughout our lives, are shaped by those we have relationship with and the environments we grow up in. Some is because of choices others made. Some is a result of choices we made.

God sees us as we are and as we should be - which are two totally different things. It's seeing coffee grounds but also seeing those grounds as a cup of coffee at the same time. You can't get a cup of coffee without having to filter it with hot water. Heat always reveals, always purifies, and can be uncomfortable to downright painful but it's necessary. You cannot have a cup of coffee without grounds, a filter, and hot water. The filter is a healing process that we need to go through. It takes time. The grounds are us and all our mess. The actual coffee is us not being constrained or limited by our mess.

The flavor of coffee is a culmination of the whole process. So whether you're an extra bold Sumatra roast or a medium Costa Rica blend...be the flavor God created you to be.
And if you find grounds in your coffee don't be afraid to ask others for help.

Surrender

Surrender is linked to so many other things like humility and teach-ability but they all come down to one thing, the heart. In American culture where we rely so much on our own strength and abilities, surrender can be one of the hardest things we do. When I started out my Christian walk, I surrendered things and activities because that’s what you do. But what may have seemed like a motivated heart (looking back 20 years), was a heart motivated by rules and compliance. I did not have a good understanding of what grace really meant. I wanted to please God and I knew there were expectations of what a Christian did and didn’t do. Needless to say, I would have short bouts of where I slipped back into old habits. I never made any “re-commitment” trip down to the altar because I had never lost my faith in God and belief in Jesus as my Savior. I was just working out my salvation. The periods of my backsliding grew shorter and shorter until I got to the point I would think about doing something but not act on it. I had reached a point like the disciples in John 6:68 when Jesus asked if they wanted to turn away and Peter responded “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

While that may have been submission of the outward, the inner had a lot more work to be done. I was never very much of an outwardly rebellious child, but I believe it manifested in other ways like being a picky eater or inconsistent with school work and grades. Yes, most kids go through a “picky” phase but in my house it was more a battle of wills: mine and my father’s. I remember one particular night I refused to try something and my father said I would remain at the dinner table until I tried it. I don’t know how long I actually sat there, but the dishes were cleared, the kitchen cleaned, and the dining room light was turned off. I was perfectly content to sit there all night and miss TV and dessert. My mom finally took the plate away at some point and I probably went to my room to play until bedtime. I don’t think I would have allowed me to get away with that kind of subtle rebellious behavior. One of the great things about God is His amazing depth of patience He exercises with us. He will continue to take us around the same path on the mountain to deal with things that hinder us from growing closer to Him. Sometimes we have little victories and move “up” a level in our faith walk thinking we’ve overcome the whole issue. Then a few months or years go by and it comes up again. “I thought I dealt with this, Lord?” and yes, He helped remove what we could bear at the time but now He wanted to deal with it/us deeper.

Part of what has helped me is that I love to learn and I love to read the Bible. I seek feedback. “Lord search me and show me”. The process hasn’t necessarily been easy but as easy as it can be when you humble yourself and throw yourself on the rock instead of letting the rock fall on you because you're too proud or stubborn to surrender. To surrender is to admit you cannot do something. It is allowing someone else to take control. Everyone has difficulty giving up control. It takes faith because you don't know where the surrender will take you. What rocky terrain of trials and struggles you'll have to face. Or the experiences and emotions you'll have to think about.

It's becoming more and more apparent that we are all broken people to varying degrees. One look at the divorce rate or number of one parent homes today is enough proof. But there's also the increase in diagnosis of psychological disorders - not just among adults, but teenagers and young children. We're learning coping mechanisms to hide our disfunctions or have a pill that can do it for us - but we were never created to just cope with something - we were meant to overcome. And to do that requires us to surrender sometimes.

It seems almost contradictory - surrender to gain victory. But that's what happens when we surrender to Jesus. If we allow Him to work in our lives, to heal us and restore us, then we'll have to face the good, the bad, and the ugly. Like any surgical procedure, there is an element of apprehension on our part because we're putting our life in the hands of the physician. We're surrendering. But we also know that after the surgery we should feel better or see improvement. No one goes into surgery expecting to be worse off when they come out and begin recovery.

The "ugly" we have to deal with is something everyone has to come to terms with and that is we are all sinful. Since the fall of Adam there has only been one born without sin and that is Jesus.
The "bad" is those things that shape what we believe about ourselves - those things we've internalized that someone else impressed upon us. It's those things that have happened to us.
The "good" we have to recognize is that 1) we are made in the image of God and 2) once we surrender our lives to Jesus, we are made righteous.

Just a Thought

I've just been thinking over the past week or so about what we say and how we say it. The words we choose to get a point across.

In thinking about how to lead others into a deeper and more victorious Christian walk, sometimes we use terms that other people get lost on. If I'm leading, I'm teaching. If I'm teaching, what I say needs to make sense and be comprehended. You do not talk to a first grader about Calculus terms. But if you want to, are you really trying to teach them or show off your knowledge and IQ?

I'm Still Standing

Lookin' like a true survivor. Feeling better than I ever did..

If you're humming the Elton John tune..hahahaha - I did it on purpose.

I've made it through my first semester of graduate school after being out of the college atmosphere for over 10 years. It was quite an adjustment to get back into "student" mode AND adjust to living in a new state. At the end of it all I have my first 4.0 to show for it. Whew!

I've recently been comparing my trek across the US from GA to CA to that of Abraham picking up and leaving his "hometown" and going to the land that God showed him. Along the way, God promised to make Abraham a "Father of Nations" though he and his wife Sarah were yet childless.

It takes a lot of guts to pick up and move to a place where you literally do not know anyone. Ok, so I do have some good friends and several acquaintances from a vacation visit to CA last fall..so it was a starting point. While it has felt lonely at times, I had school to keep me very occupied.

In the past four months of living here I have experienced 3 earthquakes. One epicenter was only 11 miles away and woke me up at 4am. The other two were very slow rolling quakes that were centered down near San Diego. At first I thought it was my equillibrium that was off as the rolling wave motion made me feel a little off balance and dizzy. None of them lasted very long. This has to be a record of earthquakes felt by a new resident. They don't scare me. While it's a natural phenomenon of a different nature than hurricanes, it holds the same fascination.

Things that have frustrated me since moving to CA? The CA Labor Laws that require me to take a lunch when I'd rather just work my 8 hours and be done with it. Then there's the whole DMV thing. The process takes several hours - even with an appointment. You go from one window to the next - but occasionally you have to wait for your number to be called for the next window. I had to take a written CA driver's test to get my license. I kind of took it cold turkey and managed to pass missing one less than what would be a "fail". You have to get your car physically inspected there at the DMV. Oh, but before a visit to the DMV you have to have a passing smog test. This is slightly different from GA and costs about twice as much. For inspection at the DMV you need to have your VIN number in two separate locations. We all know about the one you can easily spot in the windshield. Well, a second location would be the sticker on the inside of your door (the one that shows your PSI for tires and engine stuff). My sticker was unreadable...so it failed. They gave me a temporary tag and told me I needed to take my car to a CA Highway Patrol office for verification. It would have been nice to have a list of those offices from the DMV - seeing as how I'm really new to the area and have NO CLUE how far some places are in relation to where I live. I prevailed, eventually. I found a CHP office not 5 miles from the DMV I went to...had I known I could have taken care of it the same day! Whatever. I also registered to vote while I was at the DMV - get everything over with in one place.

So I was able to vote for the primaries recently held in CA. This system is so antiquated! It's scantron - not computer. First, since the CA voter website didn't have me registered I had to call to make sure - and the live person on the other end said I was. The best part is my precinct is literally on the other side of the wall in the backyard! I was able to walk to vote. Well, I was not on anyone's master lists. I had to vote as a "provisional" voter. I was their first one...so the process took a little longer but no more than 20 minutes total. The voting booths are set up by party affiliation...so much for not letting others know how you vote! They have big signs over each one "Democrat" "Republican"..etc. And this is because you have to ink stamp your ballot with this old system. No, no hanging chad possibilities in CA..so the slots only have your candidates. I received my "I voted" sticker - in about 6 different languages - which is pretty cool.

One thing that has been slow coming is finding a church to call home out here. There are plenty of churches. I visited several which I quickly figured out were not a good fit for me and where I think I'm going. There were a few others that were great churches and I could easily fit in but again, I didn't feel that it was strategically where God wanted to place me. This past Sunday I visited a church I though could be the one..and I am satisfied. This has been a different season and hopefully, as Monday was the first "official" day of summer, I have entered into a new season.

It's a new season, it's a new day...a fresh annointing is heading my way!

It's a New Season

It is definitely a new season unlike any time in my life before.

I'm having to find a lot of new things. New friends, new church, new doctors, new grocery stores, new school, and new state.

This is the first time in my life where I have uprooted myself from people I've known and loved for many years and church fellowship with those same people. I (and my dog) drove cross country from Atlanta, Georgia alllll the way to La Mirada, California. Why? To follow God's purposes for my life. Part of which, is going to school at Biola University for a Masters in Organizational Leadership.

It all started in September. I went out to Newport Beach, CA for a real vacation to visit friends. I loved that every day was sunny and the beach so close. When I arrived back in Atlanta, GA we had 10 straight days of rain...and flooding. My room I was renting we found out, had a tendency to flood. Hard to discover that during 3 years of severe drought. So I just felt like I needed to start going through my belongings and getting rid of some things, packing up other things, and praying. More rain. More flooding. More packing. It was like the rain was nudging me in a not so subtle way that a move was coming. I knew a move was coming...I just wouldn't have thought it to be all the way to California.

I really don't know what possessed me to finally apply to graduate school. It was difficult trying to decide what program I wanted to pursue because I love to learn and everything sounded so interesting. I will say this in defense of my college transcripts that aren't quite so stellar: sometimes I was tired of jumping through hoops to get the grades from professors.

I believe that God's purposed me to start up some sort of organization. It may be a church. It may be a ministry. It may be some other non-profit organization. But to be practical, I decided to go with the Master's in Organizational Leadership at Biola.

Couldn't you have just found a school in Atlanta for that? Yes. I could have but you can't argue with how quickly my move came together and everything lined up. I decided to apply for school at the end of October. The deadline for the spring semester was December 1st. There were essays to write and recommendations from employers and co-workers to obtain - and I managed to get it all done on time! I had some plans of when I would move, what I would do for employment - because lets be real - the employment rate in California doesn't look so great, and where I would possibly live. Well, I didn't get accepted until January 15th. This just happened to be the weekend I originally planned to move because it would be a holiday weekend. I moved January 28th and arrived in La Mirada, California on February 1st. I still had no idea what I was going to do for housing. Luckily, an old friend from college and his family let me stay with them until I could find housing.

And as for employment? My office in Atlanta agreed to let me work remotely on a trial basis! How's that for provision?

But now I'm in the process of trying to find a church to plant myself. I could go to a number of different churches in the area and cities surrounding but I believe I am to be strategic in where I choose to root myself in this season of California dreaming.

Up to this point, I've always had a church to go to when I left the current one. In some cases, it was the truth being preached that I followed. In others, it was a global vision. Now? It's difficult to put into words and it may be I find it in a couple of churches. People passionate about Christ, loving people, training, and launching you into your purpose.

Better Late than Never

I've finally created a blog.

Though this is not my first foray into the world of blogging, it is my first site totally dedicated to getting my thoughts out there to share with the world.

Perhaps this will make it easier to focus on other things like graduate school. I recently went back to school and it's been difficult getting back into a student mindset. I love to learn, so technically I'm always a student. I just haven't found a time management plan that works and helps me focus on doing all the reading and writing involved.